Middle-earth’s Hottest Hobbits, Ranked

Hobbits, Frodo and Sam

Look, sometimes you wake up in the morning and think, “What can I do today that would make J.R.R. Tolkien proud of me?” And your brain, rested and wise, supplies the only true answer:

You will rank hobbits by hotness for Bilbo and Frodo’s birthday.

Disclaimer: This is a ranking of hobbits by hotness, not the humans who play them. They are being ranked on their hobbit forms. Take no offense, dear reader.

Note: Peregrin Took is not on this list because during the events of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, he does not reach the hobbit coming-of-age of 33 years old (he does in the appendices, but that’s not where the bulk of his story can be found). He’s only 28 when the story starts, which puts him at roughly 16 or 17 years old in human terms. Ranking the hotness of a hobbit teenager ...

Hobbits, the Proudfoots
Hobbits, Gollum and Smeagol
Hobbits, Deagol
Hobbits, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins
Hobbits, Gaffer Gamgee
Hobbits, Bilbo
Hobbits, Farmer Maggot
Hobbits, Merry
Hobbits, Frodo
Hobbits, Samwise Gamgee
Hobbits, Rosie Cotton