The Force Awakens Characters Are Named After Their Hogwarts Houses

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Look, I don’t make the rules. The Sorting Hat wants what it wants. And in a moment of divine inspiration, it spoke to me, and it informed me where the Force Awakens generation would be Sorted at Hogwarts. I did not expect it to be so obvious, but sometimes words and names combine in truly beautiful ways.

Actually, the story is that one day my spouse and I were walking around eating ice cream and making jokes, and we realized it was incredibly obvious how to Sort the new Star Wars crew. Observe:

Star Wars Hogwarts Sorting

*mind. esplode.*

Now you may think this is too tidy, and that we just came up with this because it fit the Hogwarts Houses well enough for the name joke. But I stand by this Sorting. Allow me to explain.

Finn: Gryffindor

Finn had enough courage to stand against a lifetime of brainwashing, and break away ...