Dinosaurs on the Battlefield

Next week marks the release of The Dinosaur Princess, Victor Milán’s new novel in The Dinosaur Lords series, set in a primordial world with every species of dinosaur, large and small. The books are bloodsoaked—the basic elevator pitch is “Jurassic Park meets Game of Thrones”—specifically because the saurians aren’t around to be pets, attractions, or build a Dinotopia.

Milán employs them as scaly war engines which brings up a question pondered by generations of kids as they’ve assembled plastic dinosaur toys in their sandboxes—which are the best dinosaurs to wage war?

An enormous, excessively-fanged theropod would be the obvious choice. We’ve all daydreamed about clambering atop a Tyrannosaurus to vanquish our enemies. (Right?) But there are two problems with this plan. The first is that the carnivore might be just as likely to eat you as your enemy. A morsel is a morsel to a hungry ...

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5 Tips For Surviving a Dinosaur Disaster

It’s a beautiful day at Jurassic World. The sun is shining. The Archaeopteryx are singing. The only annoyance is the seemingly endless visitors trying to take a selfie with the Baryonyx in the background, but it’s hard to begrudge them that. It’s hard to be unhappy when surrounded by dinosaurs. But then the screaming starts. At first you think some kid got a little nervous about seeing Triceratops in the flesh. Dinosaurs can be more than a little intimidating up close. But you know that’s not right. There’s too much depth to the cry, and it’s getting louder. By the time you turn around to see where all the commotion is coming from, the Tyrannosaurus has already stepping into view from behind the gift shop with half a tourist sliding down its jaws, tatters of Hawaiian shirt dangling between its teeth. Damn. If you’re going to survive the terror that ...
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5 Tips For Surviving a Dinosaur Disaster

It’s a beautiful day at Jurassic World. The sun is shining. The Archaeopteryx are singing. The only annoyance is the seemingly endless visitors trying to take a selfie with the Baryonyx in the background, but it’s hard to begrudge them that. It’s hard to be unhappy when surrounded by dinosaurs. But then the screaming starts. At first you think some kid got a little nervous about seeing Triceratops in the flesh. Dinosaurs can be more than a little intimidating up close. But you know that’s not right. There’s too much depth to the cry, and it’s getting louder. By the time you turn around to see where all the commotion is coming from, the Tyrannosaurus has already stepping into view from behind the gift shop with half a tourist sliding down its jaws, tatters of Hawaiian shirt dangling between its teeth. Damn. If you’re going to survive the terror that ...
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Monster Mixtape: The Top Ten Terrors

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Aliens. Ancient terrors. Scientific experiments gone awry. We’ve spent time with many different monsters over the last few weeks. All of them have a special place in the bloody cockles of my heart, and they might be burrowed into yours, as well. So with this series at an end, I want to know which of the ten aberrations is your favorite, or what alternate horrors are at the top of your list? But first, let’s review which monsters earned a place in my own morbid menagerie…

 

Track 1 – Aliens from Attack the Block

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What: Ape-like aliens that travel in packs
Source:
Attack the Block, 2011
Strength:
They’re practically made of shadows.
Weakness: Being led around by their sex drive.

 

Track 2 – The Silicates

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What: Silicon-based life form accidentally created by SCIENCE
Source:
Island of Terror, 1966
Strength:
A thick outer shell.
Weakness: The sweet, ...

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Monster Mixtape: The Xenomorph

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It’s that time of the year again. There’s a slight chill to the late summer evenings. Leaves are starting to bring out their fall colors. Each day is just a bit shorter than the last. We can all feel what these changes signify. No, not going back to school, but that it’s the season for monster movies! Between now and Halloween I’ll be highlighting ten of the best toothy, sharp-clawed, and mutated aberrations to shred the silver screen. Some are old classics, others are newcomers, but all are awesome.

“You still don’t understand what you’re dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.” Let’s talk about the xenomorph from ALIEN.

Space is not a welcoming place. The void is cold, dark, and hostile to life as we know it. The dragons we used to paint in the margins in global map could ...

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Monster Mixtape: The Thing

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It’s that time of the year again. There’s a slight chill to the late summer evenings. Leaves are starting to bring out their fall colors. Each day is just a bit shorter than the last. We can all feel what these changes signify. No, not going back to school, but that it’s the season for monster movies! Between now and Halloween I’ll be highlighting ten of the best toothy, sharp-clawed, and mutated aberrations to shred the silver screen. Some are old classics, others are newcomers, but all are awesome.

“I dunno what the hell’s in there, but it’s weird and pissed off, whatever it is.” Let’s talk about John Carpenter’s The Thing.

There are certain moments from my childhood that immediately seared themselves onto my gray matter. The first time I saw The Thing is one of them. While channel surfing through the basic cable offerings one weekend afternoon ...

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Monster Mixtape: The Many Faces of Gojira

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It’s that time of the year again. There’s a slight chill to the late summer evenings. Leaves are starting to bring out their fall colors. Each day is just a bit shorter than the last. We can all feel what these changes signify. No, not going back to school, but that it’s the season for monster movies! Between now and Halloween I’ll be highlighting ten of the best toothy, sharp-clawed, and mutated aberrations to shred the silver screen. Some are old classics, others are newcomers, but all are awesome.

“If we don’t defend ourselves from Godzilla now, what will become of us?” Let’s talk about Gojira.

Since the monster’s debut in 1954, everyone’s favorite radioactive dinosaur has starred in twenty nine movies. (I don’t care what the title was, the 1998 American adaptation doesn’t count.) That’s a greater number of films than in the James Bond franchise, and ...

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